Like many brides, when it came to planning my wedding I really had no clue what to do. Linens? Themes? Venues? Entrees? There was so much to think about! I was never one of those girls that had every detail planned out, or had been practicing for the big day ever since I could slip on my mothers high heels and hold a piece of tulle on my head using a plastic tiara. I didn’t even have a Pinterest board for it! Crazy, I know.
My parents had gifted us a little bit of money, his parents volunteered the traditional rehearsal dinner, and to my surprise, my fiancé had already been setting aside some money, but even with the available funds, I was still shocked when I started looking at all that goes into a wedding. According to Wedding Wire, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is around $36,000. Woah! I love the idea of a big party with everyone you love and care about surrounding you, and most of all, I wanted the people that were coming to support us to have a great time, but I knew I was going to have to do something. Don’t get me wrong, it is an important day, and deserves some major flair, but when I was looking at the bigger picture, I really wanted to save some money so we could take a great honeymoon, and I figured that whatever money we had left over was going straight into our future house fund.
First off, you need to decide what is important to you. If you have some detail that you have been dreaming of, that you just won’r budge on, find another area to cut corners. For us, the photographer was something we splurged on. There is never going to be another chance to get those shots! If you are flexible though, you really can save a lot.
1. Use your Friends! (In a Good Way)
The people around you may have some pretty handy skills, obvious or not. I employed family and friends to help out where they could. You may be surprised what they can do, and by how much they want to help. My mother-in-law made a gorgeous backdrop for the ceremony that we could use at the reception too, my sister took our engagement photos, and my mom sewed our table runners. My bridesmaids helped arrange flowers before the rehearsal dinner, and the groomsmen of all people spent the night before the wedding sipping whiskey and ironing all the linens they were going to set up the next day. My father-in-law was ordained years ago for a friend’s wedding, and we were so excited when he agreed to perform our service too.
IMPORTANT NOTE:
When you put these people to work, keep in mind that they are doing you a favor. If it is a detail that is going to cause you to go into mascara tears, full-on meltdown, bridezilla mode if it goes wrong, don’t ask them! Go ahead and hire the pro. It is not worth ruining friendships or starting off uncomfortable relationships with in-laws. It is also a good idea to let them know you will pay for any materials they may need. You may find that a lot of them want to cover the cost to help out, but don’t assume they’re going to. Odds are, they are already spending money on your wedding one way or another.
2. The Venue
This can easily be one of the most expensive parts of your wedding (even if you hunt down a great deal). BE FLEXIBLE if you want to really save here. We saved a ton of money by having our wedding on a Friday evening rather than on Saturday. The price was almost cut in half just by changing the day. It seems a little inconvenient, but it really wasn’t bad at all. Don’t underestimate how much your friends and family care. They will still be there. Some guests even told us that they loved it because they could make a weekend out of their trip afterwards (our little town makes for a great weekend getaway).
Another great way to save money is to book a venue that is still in the process of being built or has just opened. Many venues offer discounted rates if they’ve just opened to help get the word out about their facility. Sometimes you can find these spots online, but your vendors are a great source for info that hasn’t been publicized yet. Your caterer is good place to start. They always have great recommendations on vendors from a lot of different categories. Your caterer may not want to commit to a date before you have a venue booked, but if you give them a time frame, and maybe a month you are looking at, they will usually still sit down and talk with you, and let you know what day they are available. (Another reason to book a Friday wedding… you are more likely to get the weekend of your choice).
Beware: When booking a venue, make sure you are aware of everything included and NOT in the price. Some venues seem like a great deal up front, but then they charge you for all kinds of extra “services” on the big day, and some require that you book with certain partner vendors that can really be pricey.
3. Food
Speaking of the caterer, here is an opportunity to save some money. These days, if people are taking their time to make it to your big day, they are excited about it, maybe planning their whole weekend around it, and really, they expect to be fed and have access to a bar. You are going to have to shell out some dough for this one, but you can chip away at some of these costs. First, figure out what type of food you want. Obviously some kinds of dishes are going to be more expensive. If you are trying to cut cost though, maybe steer clear of the filet mignon and lobster. Pasta and BBQ are usually cheaper options, and here in Texas, we love BBQ!
More couples are opting out of the formal entree dinner though, instead opting for having a variety of appetizers or small plates available for their guests. I don’t know about you, but I can definitely fill up on chips and salsa, mini egg rolls, and charcuterie! Many of your guests will be just fine with this option. They get to try a little bit of everything, and there is still plenty of room for the cake.
Let them eat cake! Sort of… If your heart isn’t set on a 7 tier Tahitian vanilla and passion fruit cake with gold foil and sugar filagree, deviate from the norm! I have seen so many cute wedding cake alternatives out there that will save a couple hundred dollars or more EASY! Cupcakes, doughnuts, cookies, macaroons. Look it up on Pinterest. There are so many adorable options! We went with Nothing Bundt Cakes for ours. We had a two tier bundt cake just so we would have something to cut for photos, but then we ordered a ton of their bundtinis in several different flavors for everyone. The guests thought the idea was cute, original, and they liked being able to try multiple flavors… and I liked how much money we saved on it!
Our caterer also gave us a great tip on picking out dinnerware. There are tons of plastic options that look great these days, but when it comes to the glassware, it is extremely hard to get an authentic look with plastic (particularly in the photos). She suggested that we ordered the actual glasses for the tea/ water, and get plastic dishes/ silverware. Most people don’t give a damn if they are eating off of a plastic plate or not, and it gives you the freedom to play with fun trendy colors like gold or gunmetal silverware. She was right. Our photos looked great, and with the actual glass drinkware, there was no way to tell from the pictures that the rest wasn’t authentic either.
*Side note on the alcohol: Many couples want to save, and alcohol is expensive! It’s not like dinner where you order one plate for one person. You have to assume that everyone is going to have multiple drinks, and then buy extra because the last thing you want to happen is you run out. Honestly, most guests are going to expect you to have an open bar too. They drove all the way out to celebrate, and by God, they want to celebrate! I used to work as a bartender at weddings, and yes… guests love their booze, but no one was particularly upset when they asked what we had and I responded “these wines or these beers”. Offering a beer/wine bar is an effective way to cut the cost and still provide that good time in a glass.
3. Decorations
You are going to have to get in touch with your crafty side, or hopefully you at least have some people in your corner that are all about DIY. We (my team of friends & family) took care of the backdrop, table decorations, flowers, signage, pretty much everything. It did cost us some money, but we saved a lot of $$$ by doing it ourselves.
My mother in law made a gorgeous macrame backdrop for us that now hangs in our house. It definitely was a centerpiece and pretty much took care of the alter decorations. I went to a bulk fabric warehouse with my mom to pick out the colors I wanted to use for table runners, and she quickly hemmed them perfectly, and my my mother-in-law and I painted all of the signage. My bridesmaids agreed to help arrange flowers before the rehearsal dinner, and that saved tons! I ordered the flowers from an online wholesaler, and had them delivered about 3 days before the wedding. Most of the flowers come in bud form, so they need a couple days to open. When I was asking around to local florists, they told me it was going to be about $300 for just my bouquet! I ordered several types of flowers, and a lot of greenery, and did my bouquet, the bridesmaid’s bouquets, the groomsmen’s boutonnieres, ceremony decorations, and all of the table decorations, and still had some left over. I can’t remember the exact amount, but I know the whole order was definitely below $1000.
4. Bridal Party
This may be one of those things that you don’t want to budge on, but if you can be selective, it saves in the long run. Think about it this way… how ever many people you pick yo stand beside you, you are going to need to have a match on the other side so that doubles the number of people, then they are each going to bring a date, that double the number again. You need to account for that whole number for both the wedding and the rehearsal dinner. You are also expected to buy a small gift for the bridal party to let them know how much you appreciate their friendship and help during this important time. You probably want to get them something meaningful, and that can be tricky to do for under $30 a person. I did not do a a great job at saving in this area. I had 7 bridesmaids (which I wouldn’t change if I had the chance!), but that meant that there was 28 people to account for when it came to the rehearsal dinner, catering, and the bar tab.
In the end, it is your big day, and you need to decide what is going to make you happy. If saving money and having a fund for the honeymoon, or your first house is going to make you the happiest. Don’t loose sight of that. It can be easy to get wrapped up in the details and stress about if you are going to serve mini quiches or have a quesadilla bar, but those details are SO SMALL! I’ve been there, and I know that it can be overwhelming to pick the “perfect” everything, but don’t stress, have fun, and save a buck where you can. I can guarantee most of the details only seem like a big choice to you because you are being given the choice and over-scrutinizing everything that you are putting into it. If you are trying to choose between midnight linens and ink linens, you will be the only one that knows! Everyone else is just going to see navy. It may seem like a sacrifice, but no one is going to know! Enjoy this time putting your wedding together! You are getting married, and regardless of the the choice you make between dahlias and daisies, you get to spend the rest of your life with the one person you can picture the rest of your life with. Congratulations!
As always, if you have any question, or want some advice, let me know and I will do my best to help out!
-KJ
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